


Dulce Et Decorum Est

by sweetmelodrama



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Louis, British Harry Styles, Fluff, French Louis, Hurt/Comfort, In chapter 2, Lots of it, M/M, Minor Character Death, Smut, Top Harry, War, World War I, You're Welcome, and thats it i think, but nothing too explicit, louis is a bottom thats the tea, not Harry or Louis though, oh and, thats too cruel, theres some description of violence, this is just tons of fluff tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-31 02:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17840765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetmelodrama/pseuds/sweetmelodrama
Summary: Louis, the French blue-eyed soldier who had held Harry’s hand when he saw the boy was crying. Louis, the kind young man who had lent his water to Harry even though he had little left. Louis, who said nothing to anyone except to Harry.  “Ce n'est pas de ta faute,” the boy occasionally whispered to Harry when he saw Harry was close to tears.Or the time where Harry is a soldier in world war one and Louis is his rock who gets him through all the pain and suffering war can bring.Inspired by the poem: Dulce Et Decorum Est by Wilfred Owen





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay wow my first fic on ao3! Aubrey said this isn't shit so im praying she didn't lie to me. She said she cried while reading though which is hopefully a good sign. 
> 
> This one-shot is dedicated to 1) Aubrey (i love you so much) 2) Emilie, you've been here from the start so yh also hopefully none of my french is wrong but if it is dont kill me 3) Buu, who deserves the entire world. i love you so much my love
> 
> Enjoy! This fic is inspired by the poem Dulce et Decorum est by Wilfred Owen. The phrases in italics are the phrases from the poem so don't get confused sksjksks

_ “Bent double, like old beggars under sacks, knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,” _

 

War made 18 year old Harry cry.

 

It happened the nights where they were allowed to rest, which were few, but Harry remembers each occasion vividly. It would first begin with nightmares. The images of bloody men lying lifelessly on the grounds they tread on, the screams of pain from the countless men Harry had found without limbs, the cry of help from soldiers who hadn’t been quick enough in putting on their gas mask. Then Harry would wake up with dried blood all over his clothes and ash all over his face and hands. Sometimes, he would wake up to find it was raining, and he was completely drenched, but he never cared. Instead, he would always look up to the clouds and silently apologize to God. “I am sorry-” he would say, “-for what this world has become.” That’s when the tears usually came. They arrived slowly, but once they were there, they were never-ending. They would cascade down Harry’s dirty face, although anyone would think they were just drops of rain.

 

_ “Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs, and towards our distant rest began to trudge.” _

 

One of the worst moments however, was when they had to tread through war land. Land filled with dead German soldiers lying on the floor, dead as stone.  Harry was forced to shut his eyes. He couldn’t deal with the guilt and pain that infiltrated him when he thought about how  _ he  _ had caused this. These men were husbands, sons,  _ fathers  _ for fuck’s sake, and Harry had just killed them without a second glance. Somewhere in the near future there would be funerals held for these men,  with spouses mourning for their loved one while kids grew up without fathers and parents lost a piece of their heart. Harry was a  _ murderer.  _ He had left a spouse with their partner, a kid without a father, a parent without a son. He had done this.

 

_ “Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots, but limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;” _

 

And then there was Louis. Louis, the French blue-eyed soldier who had held Harry’s hand when he saw the boy was crying. Louis, the kind young man who had lent his water to Harry even though he had little left. Louis, who said nothing to anyone except to Harry.  “ _ Ce n'est pas de ta faute,”  _ the boy occasionally whispered to Harry when he saw Harry was close to tears.  Harry had still to find out what that meant.

 

_ “Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.” _

 

Louis was the only soldier that talked to Harry. None of Harry’s British companions had ever said a word to him, yet Harry didn’t mind at all as long as he had the blue-eyed boy by his side.  There was little communication between them because of the language barrier, but somehow, they still understood each other’s glances filled with fear and pain. When bombs exploded, Louis was always there to warn Harry to cover his ears, and when it was time to move, Louis was always there waking up Harry from his slumber with a smile.  _ “Allons-y mon garcon,” _ he’d say, offering Harry a hand to help him stand up. Louis made war a little less scary.

 

_ “Gas! GAS! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling, Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,” _

 

However, there were some things Louis couldn’t control. He couldn’t stop Harry from seeing people being decapitated. He couldn’t stop Harry from hearing the screams, and the bombs, and the pleads of helpless people. He couldn’t stop Harry’s nightmares either; however he did sometimes wake Harry up when the nightmares were of the worst kind.  _ “Respire mon amour,”  _ he would chant into Harry’s ear while rubbing his hand up and down the young man’s back.  Somehow, his voice alone was enough to get Harry to calm down. His thick French accent made Harry feel safe.

 

_ “But someone still was yelling out and stumbling And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime.-“ _

 

There was one particular day that was the worst. Harry didn’t know when or where it had been (he had lost track of time a long time ago), but it was the day he got shot in the shoulder. It happened so fast, one second he was fine and the next he was on the floor. Looking back at it though, he can see the bullet slowly coming to him, and he can feel the exact moment it punctured his skin. Louis was there to catch him.

 

Of course he was.

 

_ “Dim through the misty panes and thick green light, As under  a green sea, I saw him drowning.” _

 

Everything was a blur of blood, shouting and ash after that. Except for Louis’ desperate screams. Those were loud and clear.  _ “HARRY!”  _ he desperately shouted as he fell on his knees in front of Harry. His blue eyes were foggy, while they usually looked like a calm sea, that day they looked like a storm. Even then, Louis looked beautiful. His hair had gotten longer, his dark brown fringe now curled at the end. His cheeks were stained with a brown substance, but even under that Harry could see his rosy cheeks. His thin lips were parted, blabbering some nonsense Harry couldn’t understand.  _ “Ne me laisse pas…” _

 

All went dark for Harry after that.

 

The next he time he woke up he was in the infirmary tent. His shoulder was aching, he was parched and his head was throbbing. He didn’t focus on that.

 

He focused on the warm fingers that were intertwined in his own.

 

Harry’s shoulder never completely got better, however he never expected it to.  

 

_ “In all my dreams before my helpless sight, He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.” _

 

After that, Louis’ nightmares became worse. He had always had them, like every single soldier, but this time they made him cry.  _ “Ne meurt pas s’il te plait” _ Harry always heard him saying. And just like Louis had always done to him, Harry gently woke him up and held him. He placed Louis on his lap and tangled his fingers in his hair and used his other hand to stroke Louis’ wet cheek.  “Breathe in, breathe out,” Harry whispered. Everyone around them was asleep, or at least pretending to be, however the faint sound of bombs could still be heard.

 

_ “If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace Behind the wagon that we flung him in,” _

 

Time passed by slowly in war. 

 

Either that or they were just there for a very long time. Harry saw many of his companions die in front of him. It’s funny how none of them talked to him until they were bleeding on the floor, desperate to live. However Harry knew when there was no point in taking them to the infirmary. It happened more times than often.  Those times were the hardest, when he was forced to walk away from the people he had been around for what felt like years. Louis was always there to hold his hand through it.  _ “Ne regarde pas en arrière.” _

 

_ “And watch the white eyes writhing in his face, His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;” _

 

Harry damned their leaders  to hell every day. He didn’t think it was fair that innocent men had to kill each other because two people couldn’t sort of their problems. Why were  _ they _ forced to fight? Why couldn’t the leaders just fight between themselves? And now while they were here starving, exhausted, the leaders were probably safe back home with their family, in their million dollar homes, laughing and smiling while millions died for them. It made Harry furious, but mostly sad.

 

It’s not that Harry wishes to die, he just sometimes wishes he’d never been born into such a cruel world.

 

_ “If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,” _

 

Harry’s heart shattered the day Louis got hit.

 

He was hit on his hip. Harry watched it occur slowly; Louis’ painful expression still makes him cry sometimes. The amount of blood he lost petrified Harry, made him anxious for the next days where he was forced to wait outside the infirmary waiting for him to be treated. It was the scariest time of his life. Louis couldn’t die, he was an angel between devils, he deserved a happy and fulfilling life, free of pain.

 

It took 5 days until Harry was able to look into his eyes again. He figures this must have been what Louis felt like when he was shot.  Harry cried of happiness when Louis lips broke into a small smile. His eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue Harry had ever seen, and they were shining brighter than the stars. He made sure to help Louis start walking again, and although he now had a limp, he was still the most beautiful thing Harry had ever seen.

 

_ “Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,-“ _

 

Occasionally, soldiers were sent home.

 

They would be brought to the General to be told they would leave on the next airplane that arrived. All of them cried of happiness when it happened, Harry knew since he watched it happen every time, wishing one of those men were him.

 

He couldn’t help it. He missed his family. He missed his mother, his father, his sister and his friends. However leaving meant saying goodbye to Louis, as Louis would be flying to France while Harry went back to Britain. Harry didn’t think he could handle saying goodbye to the blue-eyed boy he had fallen in love with.

 

Harry had fallen in love with the 20 year old French blue-eyed boy who held his hand, who gave him extra food,  who held him through his nightmares and who cried when Harry almost died. No one else had cried, only Louis. Louis, who was the first person to even acknowledge his existence. Harry had fallen in love with him. He didn’t know when, where or how but he just had. Harry would take a bullet for him.

 

How was he ever going to say goodbye to him?

 

_ “My friend, you would not tell with such high zest To children ardent for some desperate glory,” _

 

The day their group was told they were allowed to go home, Harry and Louis collapsed into each other and cried.

 

The days of blood, dust, bombs and bullets were over for them. They had survived and they would be going home the next day. They were going to be able to see their family again. They were going to be able to finally rest.

 

Harry and Louis fell asleep from exhaustion in each other’s arms.  They fell asleep with each other’s arms wrapped around them, and with each other’s faces in close proximity. They were transferred to a safe spot for the night so that night there were no sounds to be heard. Harry later realized that was the first time he slept with no nightmares.

 

Harry couldn’t get Louis go when the time came. They had exchanged addresses so they could write letters to each other. Luckily, Harry’s sister knew French and Louis’ friend knew English so they were going to be able to understand each other.  However that didn’t feel like enough. Harry wanted Louis in his arms every night, he wanted to know he was safe and he was happy and he was healthy. He hadn’t even told him he loved him.

 

However the Generals were in a rush. They didn’t allow Harry and Louis to hold onto each other for long. When they broke apart Louis took Harry’s breath away. He was truly the most gorgeous and beautiful human Harry had ever seen.  As they were getting into their designated planes, Harry decided to just do it.

 

“I love you Louis!”

 

Louis smiled, and who knows, maybe he understood that phrase because he mouthed something to Harry in return. Harry understood it perfectly.  _ “Je t’aime,” _

 

_ “The old Lie: Dulce et Decorum est pro patria mori,” _

 

“Sweet and Honorable it is to die for one’s country.”

 

Harry had been told this from the moment he began Primary School. ‘Sweet and honorable it is to die for one’s country.’ It was the biggest lie Harry had ever heard. He found it despicable to teach boys from a young age that they should  _ want  _ to go to war, that they should be proud to go fight for their country.

 

There is nothing honorable in going to war. There is nothing sweet or proud about it. War is hell on Earth. It is blood, it is lifeless expressions, it is death, it is mourning, it is restless nights.  There aren’t enough words to describe it. No one should have to see people die in front of them. No one should have to bear the guilt of killing many people. People who are loved and cherished, who were hoping to go home so they could see their families.  No one should have to experience the nightmares that come after it. The PTSD that every soldier that has gone to war has, it is not humane.

 

No one should have to deal with seeing the person they love almost die in front of their eyes.  

 

Harry had to learn the hard way that the world is a corrupted, cruel place. However, he found some things were worth living and fighting for. Like a certain blue-eyed French boy.

 

_ Dear Louis, _

 

_ Not a day goes by where I do not think about you. You are in my happiest dreams and in my darkest nightmares. You are in the sunflowers that I bought that lay beside my bed. They remind me of the way you shine, even in the darkest occasions. _

 

_ I miss you dearly, my love. I wish you could be here with me, holding my hand and comforting me when bloody soldiers plead for my help at midnight. I wish you were here to see the Sun rise from my balcony, lighting the sky the prettiest shades of pink. I wish you were here when I go down to the beach just to see the shade of blue of the sea, which reminds me of your beautiful eyes. My heart aches at your absence, but knowing you are happy and well helps numb the pain a bit. _

 

_ How are you doing? How are your sisters and your mum? I hope life is being good to you. I hope your nightmares are getting better; I hate thinking of you in pain. _

 

_ I’ve started singing again, I know you’ve always wanted me to take it up again ever since I sang for you. My sister has also bought me a guitar. I play it at night sometimes when I can’t sleep, it helps me relax. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to play for you. _

 

_ My French has also gotten better. My sister has been teaching it to me non-stop, I can now almost read all your letters without any help. How’s your English? I bet it’s perfect by now. _

 

_ I’ve also been taking extra hours at the bar to save up for a plane ticket. My sister has also been giving me money, although I tell her not to, however with her help I’ll soon have enough to visit you, if you’ll have me of course. I cannot wait to see you Louis. I miss your smile, your laugh, your accent, the ways your eyes shine. I miss being happy with you. _

 

_ That is it for now, we’ll talk soon. I love you my dear Louis, as I always will. _

 

_ All my love, _

 

_ Harry _

 


	2. The Life Of A Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry post-war
> 
> Inspired by the poem "The Life Of A Soldier" by Jodi M. Kucera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY so this wasn't going to happen but then 1) aubrey and buu wanted smut (of course they did) 2) someone pointed out they hadnt kissed and i could not have that and 3) yall have been so sweet i feel like you all deserved this
> 
> okay so THANKFULLY miss aubrey helped me with the smut cause if not it would have been terrible. anyways enjoy!
> 
> this chapter is inspired by the poem "The life of a soldier" by Jodi M. Kucera (the poem is again the phrases in italic)

_ “We have an understanding, you and I, We sit in silence; nothing needs to be said.” _

****

The first time Harry saw Louis at the airport, he almost fell to his knees and cried. 

****

Louis was breathtaking. If Harry thought he was beautiful when he was covered in dirt and blood, you should have seen how he looked now. He was glowing brighter than the sun. He was sporting a blue cotton jumper that was too big for him, if his sweater paws were anything to go by. His legs were covered by black pants, which accentuated his curves perfectly, and his look was completed by black sneakers.

****

“Harry!” Louis suddenly said when he spotted the British boy. 

****

His accent was as perfect as ever.

****

Harry didn’t reply, instead choosing to run with his suitcase to finally hug the boy that he loved. They collapsed into each other’s arms with a sigh, their faces tucked in to each other’s necks. Louis smelled like fresh bread and roses, making Harry feel right at home. He  _ was _ home. He was with Louis, as he was going to be for the next two weeks.

****

_ “I know the weight you carry. You hold your head high, but inside you cry.” _

****

Luckily, Louis had learnt a lot of English in the year they had been apart, so they were able to talk about what they had been up to. Harry didn’t notice until the end of the ride he had spent the whole time talking while Louis had just listened. However when Harry looked to his left, he could see Louis was looking at him and smiling, his eyes sparkling and his cheeks flushed. He really was a beautiful sight. 

****

They arrived to Louis’ apartment a short while after, which was located in the centre of Paris. When Harry asked about his family, Louis quickly dismissed his question, saying that they were currently living in Lyon.

****

Harry had thought everyone had been evacuated from small cities into Paris, because of the fear of surprise German attacks.

****

He guessed he was wrong. 

****

_ “The life of a soldier is not an easy one.” _

****

Louis apartment was small, but cozy and welcoming. He had a small kitchen, a living room, a bathroom and one bedroom. Harry had immediately offered to sleep on the couch, causing Louis to lightly hit him and say “don’t be silly! No!  _ Tous les soirs, tu dormiras avec moi!”  _

****

Harry immediately understood him this time. “You will sleep in my bed every night with me,”. Harry almost kissed him.

****

In War, they had never really discussed their feelings, given that they were busy with trying not to get killed, but somehow, they had both known each other’s feelings were more than platonical. Harry hadn’t met a lot of gay people, however, when he had seen Louis, his gut was telling him they were the same. His gut had never failed him, neither had it now. 

****

He wondered if Louis had ever come out to his family. Harry had, when he was 16, only because he knew his family would accept him. He didn’t know anything about Louis’ backstory though, and he didn’t know if asking would be overstepping a line. He didn’t even know if Louis had ever dated. Harry had, although none of them had lasted for more than 3 months, due to the fact they always had to be careful. Only one of Harry’s relationships had lasted for 6 months. That was when he had lost his virginity. At the fragile age of 17. 

****

_ “Memories haunt you! But you stand tall and show no fear.” _

****

Louis wore only boxers to bed, Harry realised as soon as he came out of the shower wearing his pyjama. 

****

_ “ _ You’re staring _ mon amour,”  _ Louis whispered, his cheeks turning a dark red colour. “How can I not, you look like you were carved by  _ les anges _ .” Harry replied, and it was true, Louis did look like he was carved by angels. The soft candlelight that light up his room was showing off every single part of him. Louis was muscled, war does that to you, but somehow at the same time he looked as delicate as a butterfly.

****

His room had also surprised Harry. It was full with paints and brushes and canvases thrown on the floor, with paint stains present on the walls, floor and table. Harry loved discovering Louis had a passion for painting. He found out the French boy usually painted scenery, and they were the most beautiful paintings Harry had ever seen. When Louis had given one to Harry for him to keep, Harry almost kissed him. 

****

He couldn’t. Not quite yet, even though they had both already proclaimed their feelings. He just needed to find the right time. 

****

_ “The life of a soldier is not an easy one.” _

****

The next day, Harry learned daffodils made Louis smile. 

****

Louis had taken Harry to one of his favourite public gardens in Paris,  _ Le Parc Monceau.  _ Luckily, it hadn’t been extremely busy, so Louis and Harry were able to peacefully stroll down the pathways hand in hand. Today, Louis had put on a yellow jumper with blue skinny jeans and the same black sneakers. The yellow made him appear as if he really was the sun, and Harry would gladly be the sunflower following him wherever he may go.

****

Last night had been the best sleep Harry had ever gotten in his life. They had somehow ended up with Louis spooning Harry, and it had felt like old times. Louis, protecting the young innocent Harry from the dangers of this world. Beautiful, but sad.

****

However Harry’s favourite part had been the morning. Waking up to find Louis was peacefully sleeping beside him with a small smile had made his heart explode with love. He had looked gorgeous, with his soft fringe sweeping over his forehead, and his eyelashes fanning over his rosy cheeks, his lips slightly parted. It was the first time Harry had ever been able to truly admire Louis, and it was a moment he was forever going to cherish. 

****

Louis lightly squeezed Harry’s hand to get his attention “ _ Regarde  _ Harry, look _ ,”.  _ Harry quickly focused his attention on what Louis was looking at, which was the big lake in the middle of the park. Right beside them, were little ducklings swimming around and cleaning themselves. One particular duckling looked at Louis, and slowly approached him. Harry watched as Louis lightly got down to the floor and took out some crumbs, before throwing them into the lake. 

****

All the ducklings started splashing around to try to get the most food, all while Louis laughed.  _ ” _ They’re the cutest things I’ve ever seen! _ ”  _ he laughed, staring up at Harry, gleaming.

****

Harry would really take a bullet for this man.

****

_ “You hear voices of days past come rushing to your head. You think to yourself, “He was a good one; why is he dead?” _

****

Later in the evening, Harry sat on the couch as he watched Louis paint. Louis was standing right beside the window, looking out at the city below them, illuminated by lights in buildings. He had a cup of tea beside him, as did Harry, from before when Louis had offered to make tea. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of the brush being dragged up and down the canvas. 

****

“Louis?” Harry began, untangling his feet from the blanket Louis had draped over him.

****

“ _ Oui?” _

****

“Do you visit your family often?”

****

Louis stopped painting. Harry watched as he slowly turned around, leaving his brush on the table, and looked at him. His eyes were once again foggy and the colour of a storm. Just like they had been a year ago. 

****

“Not really, no.” 

****

“Why not?” Harry asked again, his face beginning to fall. Why didn’t Louis see his family? Was there something wrong?

****

Louis slowly walked to Harry and sat beside him, leaving no space between the two. He took Harry’s both hands and put them in his own, looking down to admire Harry’s long thin fingers.

****

“My father kicked me out when I was young, and told me I could never see my mother or sisters again.”

****

“Why?”

****

“Because he found out I was gay.”

****

-

****

_ “You wonder if you should have done things differently. No time to think, only react.” _

****

Harry sang for Louis that night. 

****

It was near midnight, and they were cuddled together in bed, Louis’ fingers tangled in Harry’s hair. It was raining heavily outside, however the sound of raindrops was very therapeutic to Harry. They had already showered and had dinner, and were now just enjoying being in each other’s arms. 

****

“Will you sing for me Harry?” Louis asked as he leaned his head on Harry’s shoulder, Harry leaning on Louis’ head. 

****

“Anything in specific?” Harry replied as he lifted his hand to slowly stroke Louis’ cheek. It was cold tonight, so they were both wearing long sweatpants and sweatshirts. They also had a blanket draped over their feet, that were tangled together, to provide extra warmth.

****

“I love lullabies,” Louis whispered, although he didn’t exactly pronounce the word ‘lullabies’ perfectly. Harry was endeared. 

****

Louis was on the brink of sleep when Harry finished his song. “Let’s sleep now my love,” Harry said as he blew away the candle on Louis’ night table. The room wasn’t completely pitch-black, moonlight came in through the window, illuminating Louis’ face. 

****

“Wait,” Louis whispered, just as Harry was about to close his eyes.

****

“Yes love?”

****

“Kiss me,”

****

Harry’s eyes snapped open. Louis was looking at him with innocent sparkling eyes and a small smile.

****

“Have you ever kissed anyone?” Harry murmured, lowering his gaze to stare at Louis’ tempting lips.

****

“ _ Non,” _

****

Harry quickly lifted his gaze to Louis’ eyes. Louis wanted  _ Harry  _ to be his first kiss. Harry’s first kiss hadn’t been that memorable, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try to make this as perfect as possible for Louis. “Let me teach you,” he whispered before he tilted his head, holding Louis’ chin in his hand, and pressed his lips to Louis’.

****

Sparks flew as soon as their lips met. Harry took it as slow as possible, memorising the way Louis felt against him. It was a sweet but passionate kiss, a sloppy but precise kiss, an imperfect but perfect kiss. 

****

The moon watched the two boys kiss each other’s lips until they fell asleep.

****

_ “The life of a soldier is not an easy one.”  _

****

Over the next days, they weren’t able to keep their hands off each other. 

****

They hadn’t discussed anything about their relationship, but because there was no discussing needed. Louis loved Harry and Harry loved Louis, and that’s all they needed to know. 

****

Things weren’t perfect, Louis still sometimes cried in his sleep. Harry still sometimes jumped when he heard a loud noise, but neither of them wanted it to be perfect. They both loved comforting each other and were happy to do it whenever it was necessary. 

****

Plus, they also had their happy moments. When they went outside to eat and Louis couldn’t stop giggling at Harry’s accent. When they visited the Eiffel Tower at midnight and got to see the beautiful city all lit up. When they would cuddle at night and talk about anything and everything. 

****

It was a perfect balance.

****

_ “The guilt is too much to bear. Although you were wounded, you question, Why him and not me? You can’t forget the face that were there.” _

****

Harry’s favourite moment of his whole stay however, was his last night with Louis.

****

They were both in their boxers in bed, in complete silence just looking at each other. Until Louis closed the space between them and crashed his lips against Harry’s, moving to straddle Harry’s waist. The kiss quickly turned heated, as their tongues clashed against each other in harmony. 

****

“Louis” Harry groaned as he tangled his fingers in the older boy’s hair. Harry had wanted this for a long time now, but he had always been too afraid that Louis didn’t want the same thing he did. If Louis’ hands trailing down his sides to his boxers were anything to go by, he had been wrong. 

****

Harry quickly became hard as Louis began grinding on him. Harry’s hands moved from Louis’ back to trail down his shoulders, to his narrow waist, to his strong powerful thighs. Harry couldn’t believe this was happening. 

****

“Louis,” Harry murmured against Louis’ lips again to try to get his attention. It worked, Louis broke the kiss to look at Harry with a confused glance. “ _ Oui?” _

****

“What do you want?”

****

Louis blushed, trailing his hands back up Harry’s torso to lay on his cheeks. Harry’s hands remained at Louis’ waist, holding him still. “Anything you are willing to give me.” Louis whispered to Harry’s ear, lightly biting on his earlobe. 

****

“I’ll give you anything you want,” Harry smiled at Louis, giving a peck to his lips. The candlelight was highlighting his his body perfectly, and the slight breeze coming in through the open window was refreshing against their heated bodies. Harry’s heart was pounding against his chest, threatening to explode for his love for Louis. 

****

“I want you.  _ Je te veux”  _ Louis repeated, lightly placing kisses all over Harry’s jaw and neck. 

****

“You want me to be your first?” 

****

“ _ Je veux que tu sois mon premier et mon dernier.” _

****

I want you to be my first and my last. 

****

Fuck, Harry is a goner for this man. Harry immediately crashed his lips with Louis’, maneuvering them so the French boy was beneath Harry on his back. Louis moaned against his lips as Harry lightly traced his hands down Louis’ torso to palm him through his boxers. Harry was relieved to know he was just as hard as he was.

****

Harry started kissing down the older boy’s neck, as Louis tangled his fingers into Harry’s hair. Louis tried to push up into Harry’s hand and whined when Harry pushed him back down by his waist. “You’re absolutely gorgeous,” Harry murmured as he planted kisses down Louis’ soft tummy until he reached the fuzzy hair right below his navel. 

****

“May I?” Harry asked looking up, his fingers holding the edges of his boxers. 

****

“Always,” Louis pulled on Harry’s curls. 

****

Harry planted a kiss to Louis’ tummy before removing Louis’ boxers,  leaving a trail of kisses down Louis’ thighs. “Oh God, Louis” Harry whispered as he eyed Louis’ dick, before licking a wet strip from the base to the tip. Louis closed his eyes and groaned, his hold on Harry’s hair tightening. 

****

Harry continued to lick up Louis’ dick, while he played with his balls with his other. “ _ Harry,”  _ Louis moaned in his thick French accent as his breathing became heavier and he started to sweat, his fringe wet against his forehead. When Harry took the tip into his mouth, Louis completely came undone. Harry didn’t blame him for not lasting long, it was the first time the man had received a blowjob. And it had been from  _ Harry.  _

****

Harry continued to suck him through Louis’ orgasm, while he watched Louis’ eyes clench and his eyebrows furrow, before completely letting go. “ _ Merde Harry,”  _ Louis sighed, struggling to catch his breath. “I am so-”

****

“Shhhh” Harry hushed him as he began to lightly nibble on Louis’ inner thighs. “Don’t ever apologise for that, you were absolutely beautiful,” he added as he reached up to bring Louis into a long passionate kiss. He rested his hands beside Louis’ head, completely caging him with his body. Louis’ hands trailed down to Harry’s boxers, and Harry helped him remove them. Harry’s dick slapped against his stomach as soon as his boxers were gone. He moaned as Louis’ delicate hand wrapped around his length, lightly jerking it at an uneven rhythm.

****

Harry was sweating as much as Louis by the time the older man started jerking him off. The curls at his nape were wet with sweat and his breaths were long and heavy. “Louis,” Harry groaned when Louis wet his hand with spit before continuing to jerk Harry off. However, he led Harry’s dick to his hole, causing Harry’s eyes to open and meet his gaze. When Harry looked down Louis was hard again, even though he had come only a few minutes ago.

****

“Louis are you sure?” Harry repeated once more, wanting Louis to be sure he wanted to do this.

****

“Yes. Make love to me.” Louis replied, his ‘me’ getting interrupted by a pleasured gasp as Harry slicked up his fingers with the oil he found on the nightstand next to him and started pushing the tip of one inside. As Harry began to push in deeper and add another finger to the mix, Louis appeared to be in a whole other blissful dimension.

****

“Please Harry,  _ more, _ ” Louis garbled out in between mumbled french words Harry couldn’t hear. Harry in turn started scissoring the two fingers he had in Louis in an attempt to loosen him up a little bit and make it even better for him before drawing his hand away to pour more oil onto his fingers and dick, which he stroked a few times to stave off his impending orgasm. 

****

When Harry pushed his tip in, Louis’ back arched off of the bed and his eyes rolled back inside of his head. Their breaths were labored and the breeze coming through the window was doing nothing to help cool them down, however Louis and Harry still refused to break their gaze. Harry saw every one of Louis’ face muscles twitch as he pushed in deeper. Louis was still so tight, they really should have prepped more, but Louis didn’t give Harry time to. 

****

“Louis, how’re you doing love; how’re you feeling,” Harry whispered, not wanting his lover to be in any pain whatsoever. “Just give me a minute,” Louis replied, his eyes shutting as he tried to control his breathing. Harry remained as still as possible, shaking as he tried not to come just at the feeling of Louis around him,  _ Louis  _ clenching around him. 

****

After a few seconds, Louis opened his eyes again. “Move please,” he murmured, pressing his heels into Harry’s back to encourage Harry to go deeper. Harry slowly moved until he finally bottomed out, until he felt his balls against Louis’ bum. “Shit,” Harry moaned as his eyes clenched shut and his arms buckled, forcing him rest his weight on his forearms. He slowly pulled back until only his tip was in, before pushing back in completely. The drag made Harry almost come right there and then, however he refused to let this moment end so quickly. 

****

Louis was breathtaking. His long eyelashes were resting on his cheekbones and his eyebrows were furrowed. His eyes were a completely different shade of blue Harry had ever seen them be. His pupils were dilated and his lips were open in a silent scream. His chest and collar bones were shining with sweat, and his fringe was damp and messy on his forehead. “Gorgeous,” Harry whispered once more before connecting their lips again and thrusting faster and deeper, already beginning to feel the familiar tingling at the bottom of his spine that was signalling his release. 

****

Louis moaned against Harry’s lips as he pulled on Harry’s curls, his legs tightening against Harry’s waist. Harry thrusted in different angles until he finally found Louis’ prostate, making the French boy break the kiss and groan. Harry continued to thrust at that exact angle, getting Louis’ prostate every time. Louis made the most beautiful whimpers as he wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, closing the distance between the two. 

****

“You’re beautiful,” Harry began.  _ Thrust.  _ “And you deserve the world,”  _ Thrust.  _ “And I will always love you,”  _ Thrust.  _

****

“Harry,” Louis desperately moaned, as his slick heat clenched around Harry’s dick. 

****

“Come for me my darling.” Harry whispered, making Louis come for the second time that night in powerful spurts up his chest. After a few sloppy thrusts, Harry came undone as well, thrusting shallowly until they had both ridden their orgasms and his dick was completely soft.

****

Harry collapsed on Louis as soon as he finished, slowly pulling out of Louis as his dick became soft. “I love you so much Harry,” Louis kissed Harry, making Harry smile.

****

“ _ Je t’aime aussi,”  _ Harry replied, making Louis laugh at his accent. 

****

They fell asleep in each other’s arms admiring the stars in each other’s eyes. 

****

_ “The life of a soldier is not an easy one.” _

****

The two weeks passed by quickly, and soon, the two boys found themselves driving to the airport, holding hands.

****

Although Harry was crushed, it had been the best two weeks of his life. He had fallen even more deeply in love with Louis Tomlinson, the French soldier who had kept him alive during the Great War. He had gotten to hold him, teach him, kiss him and love him. It was more than Harry could ever ask for. 

****

However he now had to go back home to work, as did Louis. The French boy promised he’d visit very soon, which made Harry feel a bit better. There was hope. This wasn’t the last of his relationship with Louis. They were going to see each other again soon. 

****

This is what Harry told himself when the time came to say goodbye. They held each other for a long while, neither of them in a hurry to break the hug. “I love you so much Louis,” Harry said, although his voice was muffled over Louis’ coat. “As do I,” he heard in response.

****

At the beginning Harry had felt sad that Louis was all alone, however Louis had quickly told him that he was never all alone, that he had friends who came over most days. Harry had been still a bit unsure, but Louis had taken away his frown with a kiss.

****

It wasn’t fair that parents were allowed to abandon their child for such a stupid reason. It wasn’t right, and to abandon your child at such a young age? They are still your child, no matter their sexuality. The whole situation made Harry mad and sad at the same time. He truly thought mankind was the worst thing that had ever happened to Planet Earth. 

****

When they finally broke the hug, both of their eyes were watery, and they so desperately wanted to kiss but they were in a middle of an airport, they’d likely be shot if they kissed. 

****

They parted with the same words they had parted to a year ago.

****

“I love you Louis.”

****

“ _ Je t’aime Harry.”  _

****

_ - _

****

_ “We have an understanding, you and I. You’re a soldier for life; and it has not been an easy one.” _

****

_ - _

****

_ Dear Louis, _

****

_ My life isn’t the same without you. I miss your hugs, your kisses, your laugh, your art, your house, your love. My heart has been broken ever since we parted. To comfort myself, I go to the park every day, and occasionally pick some daffodils. _

****

_ How are you my darling? I hope your dreams have gotten better. Mine haven’t, they only seem to vanish when I sleep in your arms.  _

****

_ It’s starting to get cold here in London. I hope you’re able to keep warm during the winter. I know you told me you’re never lonely because of your friends, and I’ll take your word for it.  _

****

_ You know I recently had to babysit one of my friend’s son. He’s about 6, and loves going to school. He told me he had learnt something new in class. “Dulce et Decorum est pro patria mori.” I almost started to cry in front of him.  _

****

_ I told him to not believe that. I told him that was a lie fed to us to make us want to go war. I told him to fear war, to always try to solve conflict with peaceful means, even if it seems impossible. That slaughtering men did nothing to help the situation. I told him to not believe everything he sees or hears, to question everything around him, in hopes that he too will realise how horrible this world is. _

****

_ I also told him to listen to his heart. To not let anyone bring him down. I told him your story, and he was astounded at your bravery and your courage Louis. He said he would have never survived living alone like you did for so many years. He told me to keep you very close to me always, as you were a keeper. _

****

_ I love you so much my darling.  _

****

_ And I always will. _

****

_ Write soon, _

_   
_ _ Harry _

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to leave comments and kudos! My tumblr is @louisxharryt if u want to say hi <3 you can reblog [this post](https://louisxharryt.tumblr.com/post/182933524635/dulce-et-decorum-est-louis-the-french-blue-eyed) if you liked it too!


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